10-Step Process To Get Your Emotional Shit Together You Nut Job (And For Those Not So Nutty)
Yo bitches!
Welcome to the blog post that I’m spinning off of my newsletter about how to manifest if you’re a fellow nut job.
I write nut job with love. I’m one of them. Someone who screams like a little girl when a car backfires. Someone who pees their pants and farts in scary movies. Someone who once set off the smoke alarm in his apartment when he burned too much sage during a panic attack.
I get you.
Trust me.
I get you.
After years of study and work and lots of spin classes, yoga classes and more spiritual books than you can shake a two-by-four at I’ve come to some rather startling truths about mental health.
One: if you’re crazy you’re gifted.
Two: refer to one.
Three: Lena Dunham is wrong – crazy is a good word. Don’t be afraid of it.
Crazy is what makes us gifted. Sure, it feels like a curse someday, but really, you have got to start seeing it as a gift - otherwise you will never get ahead. You’ll be eating Doritos in your bed until you’re 60 and that retirement you’re dying to reach you’ll never reach because you’ll be dead.
Did that go dark too fast?
I tend to do that.
If you are someone who is prone to anxiety or depression and/or any of the other things like Borderline Personality Disorder or Schizophrenia or Bipolar disorder or or or – here is something you must accept now and forever.
You can’t fuck with your feelings. Ever. If you do you are playing with fire. What does that mean?
You can’t drink like other people. You just can’t.
You can’t do drugs like other people. You just can’t.
You can’t go on 3 hours of sleep like other people. You just can’t.
You can’t drink that Venti from Starbucks and not wanna kill a bitch. You just can’t.
Why?
Because you have a superpower. They are your emotions. And as such they are incredibly powerful and they can get away from you if you are not clear that you must always be focused on how you really feel, not how you want to feel.
Balance, levity, management and calibration (and recalibration) is the key.
Do. Not. Fuck. With. Them.
Please. We need you so…please.
You can sense things other people can’t.
You can build things others can’t.
You can create and become things others can't.
You’re gifted. Others are not.
I want you to get a journal. Just do it, please. I used to make fun of what I called Journal People because they seemed so silly with their precious pens and journals they furiously scribbled into until one day I tried it and I was like, Oh.
Writing down shit makes you feel shit and if there is one thing you’re good at it is feeling so use that. Take charge of that superpower, bitches.
I want you to write down ten things you love to do.
Ride a bike.
Swear.
Masturbate.
Chill.
Pet your cat.
Clean.
Walking last listening to the soundtrack to Saturday Night Fever (that would be me).
Write them down.
After you’ve written them down I want you do this for me.
For me.
Well, for you but you won’t do it for you at first. So, I’m being super demanding.
Write them down and then when you wake up in the AM read that list and promise me each day you’ll do two of those things.
Each day.
2 things.
I can’t make you do these things. I can’t. You might say, “I’m too busy” and “I have kids” and “My commute is 2 hours and I get up at 430AM” and I hear blah, blah, blah.
Been there. Done that. Don’t have kids but I have those hours. So yes yes and yes.
There. Did I legitimize your excuses?
Now that we have that aside…let’s get to the nitty gritty of your emotional state you fellow nut job.
Do this for a week. One week. Do two things each day on that list of ten and watch_what_happens.
If you do this you will sense an emotional shift that will shock you.
Try it.
Let me know how it goes.
Now get going.
Your (happier) life is waiting.
Love, MCBHappier (see what I did there?)
